飘摇周迅令大多数男生反感的这6句话，你说过几句？-英语奇葩秀

令大多数男生反感的这6句话，你说过几句？-英语奇葩秀


很多时候单身或者分手并不一定是自己做的不够好，而是不会说话伤了对方的心，所以今天给大家分享的是女生千万不要对男生说的7句伤自尊的话，一起来学习吧。

Do you ever say something when talking to your partner that unexpectedly sets him off? Sometimes I'll make what I think is an innocent comment to my husband, and then suddenly, he's upset. It's usually because what I've said has made him feel insecure.
当你和你的伴侣聊天的时候，有没有说过的一些话让他感到意外呢？有时候，我会跟我丈夫说一些我觉得没什么的话，但他就会突然变得不开心，通常情况下是因为我的话让他没有自信感。
I went to the experts to find out specific examples of things women say that make men feel insecure. Knowing these things will hopefully help you take their feelings and perspective into consideration, and keep you from making conversational missteps in the future.
于是，我询问了相关的专家，找到了一些具体的例子，想要了解当女人说什么样的话时会令男人没有安全感。知道了这些，就能帮助你在跟伴侣聊天时考虑一下他们的感受和想法斑鱼狗，飘摇周迅避免在以后的对话中说错话。

01
If we weren't together, I'd be able to…
我们要是没在一起，我可能都......
Your partner doesn't want to feel like he's holding you back from doing what you want to do, and telling him you're missing out because of him is a sure way to make him feel insecure.
你的对象并不想让你觉得是他阻挡了你想要做的事情，告诉他因为他你失去了很多机会肯定会引起他的不安。
Dr. O'Reilly tsuggested,me "If there is something you feel you're missing out on, look for ways to achieve/explore it (at least in part) and ask for support. If you want him to change something, just ask — and be willing to make a similar offer or compromise for him."
O'Reilly 博士建议给我的建议是“如果你真的认为是他令你错失了很多机会，不妨寻找一些能够实现或者是尝试的机会（至少是一部分），然后寻求他的支持。如果你只是想要他做出一些改变，尽管向他提出来就好——你也要愿意给他提出类似的建议或者做出妥协”

02
Be a man
请你有个男人样
Men are raised to hide their feelings and mask their vulnerability, but in order to have a happy, fulfilling relationship, you want your partner to be willing to share with you. Saying "be a man" will make him feel insecure and reluctant to share with you.
男人通常都会隐藏起他们真实的感情九转成神 ，掩饰他们的脆弱。但是万宝路黑冰，为了让两个人的关系更加幸福更加充实，你想要你的另一半主动跟你分享这些事情。当你说出“请你像个男人一样”这句话可能就会让他不想跟你分享这些事了。
Rev. Sheri Heller, licensed clinical social worker, told me, "This is an emasculating statement. It insinuates that if a man is vulnerable and expressive of tender emotions like sadness that he is defective. Saying 'be a man' implies that he is a coward or a wimp and doesn't measure up to a standard of masculinity."
Rev. Sheri Heller是一个临床社工，他告诉我“这句话太打击人了，会暗示男人如果感到脆弱或者表现出类似悲伤的软弱情绪，那他就是懦弱的人。跟男人说‘请你有个男人样’就是在说他无能，是个懦夫，没有一点男子气概。”
"Instead of disempowering partner," Heller said, "a woman has the option to champion a man's efforts, including his capacity to reveal his softer side. Requiring a man to live within a stereotypical box is disingenuous and demeaning. "
“不要打击你的伴侣”Heller说道“女人应该肯定男人做出的努力，包括他展现出来的内心柔软的那一面。要求男人默守陈规是非常虚伪，侮辱人的要求。”

03
You don't know how to listen
你压根不懂得倾听
Sometimes, you may just want your partner to listen and empathize with your experience, and it may be frustrating when instead of listening openly, he offers solutions for your problems. However, giving solutions doesn't mean he's not listening — it just means he's not listening in the way you would like.
有时候，你可能只是想你的另一半听你讲述遇到的事情，对你的遭遇能够感同身受，但他却反而在帮你分析解决问题，这就很令你失望了。但是给出建议并不代表他没有听你讲话，这只是说明了他这种表达倾听的方式不是你所想要的。
Heller told me, "A man may feel he is listening when in fact he is offering advice. Hence telling him he doesn't know how to listen when he feels he is doing his best comes off as ungrateful condemnation."
Heller告诉我“男人认为，给出建议就是在表达我在听你说这回事，因此，在他他尽最大努力帮你的时候，你跟他说你压根不知道怎么倾听，就是忘恩负义的行为。”
"Instead关家垴战斗," Heller recommended, "specifically explain that you would love for him to just hear you out without any interpretations or gestures to help make changes." If you help him respond in the way you want instead of condemning him, he will feel better, and your relationship will improve as well.
“但是”Heller说道“要是你清楚的告诉他你只想让他听你说，不想要任何的解释或者表示，韩艺博 可能会有所不一样。”如果你能告诉他你想要的反应而非一味责备，他就会心里舒服一些，并且你们的关系也会有所改善。

04
You don't make enough money
你赚不了足够的钱
If you accuse a other half of not making enough money, he will feel frustrated and insecure, and you'll come off looking greedy and selfish.
如果你指责你的另一半赚不了足够的钱，那他肯定会心情焦虑沮丧没有安全感，并且说出这些话的你也会显得贪婪又自私。
Heller told me, "Men often wonder if they are a meal ticket for women. Probing a man for his financial acumen suggests he is as valuable as his income and makes him question your motives. Instead, practice generosity and look for a man who is benevolent and giving. All the money in the world can't compensate for a miserly character."
Heller跟我说“男人时常会想，对女人而言他们是不是就跟饭票一样”，探究男人的财力会给他们一种暗示，暗示他的收入就是他的价值，会让他怀疑你的动机。反之，你要表现大方得体，找到一位有善心又慷慨的男人，要知道，世界上所有的钱都无法满足一个拥有着贪婪灵魂的人。
Bilotta pointed out that even in a committed relationship, income can be a touchy subject. Instead of accusing your partner of not making enough money, work together to improve your financial situation. She suggested, "If money is an issue in your house华洋t6 , take the time to talk about how you can make the money you have go further."
Bilotta 指出即使是在一段坚定的婚姻关系里，收入也是一个非常敏感的话题远古食人鲨 ，与其一直指责你的另一半挣不到足够的钱，不如努力提升自己的收入水平。她还建议说“如果金钱是你们家存在的问题利亚迪桑 ，不如好好想想你怎么样才能进一步赚到钱”。

05
Sometimes it's what you don't say
有时候，是你什么也不说
While it's important to avoid saying things that will make your partner insecure, it's equally vital that you make sure to verbally appreciate him on a regular basis.
避免对你的另一半说一些让他没有安全感的话是很重要的，但是定期对他们进行一些口头上的表扬也同样重要。
Backe told me临淄信息港 , "If men are sensing a lack of compliments金狮子史基 , appreciation or love from their partner桃太郎传说 , it can make them feel insecure in terms of what they are contributing in the relationship. Promote good feelings and happiness by letting him know how much you appreciate him and how much he means to you."
Backe告诉我“要是男人缺乏来自伴侣的赞美，欣赏还有爱意，那么在对两人关系作出贡献方面上，就会让男人没有安全感。要想提升你们的幸福感，就要让他知道你有多欣赏他，他对你多么的重要。”
He added, "This will limit any potential insecurity across the board. Sometimes it's not what you say, it's what you don't say!"
Backe还补充说“这么做能够对所有潜在的不安全感防微杜渐。有时候不是你说了什么，而是你没说什么。”

06
Why can't you do anything right?
你为什么什么都做不好？
Generalizing and telling your partner he can't do anything right is a sure way to make him feel bad. Bilotta told me, "This isn't a nice thing to say to anyone, so obviously if you say that to the man you love, he's going to be mad."
毫无疑问，跟你的伴侣说你什么都做不好是很伤人的。Bilotta告诉我“这句话对任何人说都不好，更何况是跟爱你的人说，很明显他肯定会生气”
"Instead of lashing out and blaming your guy for everything," she added, "you need to bring it down to the specific matter at hand. Always use 'I' statements when addressing your concerns. For example, 'It makes me upset when you put the non-dishwasher safe things in the dishwasher even after we've discussed it.'”
“不要为了任何事情就抨击或者责备你的男人”她补充说“你应该减弱手头上的问题将其具体化。在处理问题的时候要经常使用‘我’的陈述方式。比如说‘即使我们谈过这个问题，但你依旧把一些安全的但家用型洗碗机不能洗的东西放在洗碗机里面，这让我很生气’”。
When you address specific behaviors and how they make you feel, you can help your partner do a better job next time, instead of making him feel like he's incompetent.
你只有在处理一些具体的行为，并且感同身受的时候，才能帮你的伴侣下一次做的更好而不是让他觉得自己无能。

还有什么话你觉得比较伤人，赶紧留言分享段曦 ，新的一年，咱们从好好说话开始~
往期精彩回顾2017年最狠的7个段子，扎心之作！离婚数据大公开，万万没想到，最容易出轨的竟是...如果有下辈子，你还愿意嫁给现在的老公吗？评论扎心了！
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英文来源：thelist综合整理：奇葩君